about me

I am a physicist by training. In my early years as a phyisicist, I tried to understand simplest constituents of nature, the fundamental particles. And I was using complex formulations to understand these simple fundamental objects.

Now I have reversed my interest. I am no longer interested in the simplest fundamental constituents of nature. Instead, I am interested in complex systems, and I am using simple models and formulations to understand these complex systems.

So, I started by using complex formulations to understand simplest objects, and end up using simple formulation to understand complex systems!

But I always attracted, somehow, to simplicity. I didn't mind dwelling in complex theories, as long as I can get to simplicity in the end. And I believe that the nature of things is simple, by nature.

Essentially, what I am trying to do is to understand the dynamics of a complex system simply by looking at the structure. Well, I am always interested in the structure, but I am also like to understand how the structure changes. That's why I guess, I always like to listen, and to play, jazz. Jazz is improvisation, but it also has a structure. The structure dictates the improvisation, but the improvisation has the power to change the structure also.

Most of my life, I've been dwelling in the noisy and hectic activity in jakarta. But for the time being, I am enjoying a quite time in a little town in florida. Eventhough I really want to be back in the crazy life in jakarta, I guess it would be necessary for me to stay here for a while.

I'm just an ordinary man. More than 99% of the world's inhabitants are ordinary people. Is there any point in reading a sketch of an ordinary person? I suppose so! Each of us is unique, only one of its kind. We are ordinary because we share many common universal qualities. But each of us also has many things that no body else has. We can always learn something from anybody, no matter how ordinary his or her character may be.
As for me, I am an Indonesian. I was born at a small town in Java, Indonesia. I was thin, and very shy, always had a lot of difficult times with other kids. But I was a kid with an inquiring mind, and have started to read books since very early. That was the reason why I chose to study science. Right now, I am a writer, student, and a researcher. But I used to do many kind of things, including playing music at restaurants, teaching, editing, administration, etc.

I decided to enter Catholic Church when I was at the high school. But I do not consider myself as a catholic in its traditional sense of the word. I like to see catholisism as a way of life, not as a religion. Actually, I dislike the term "religion" as it is referring to institutionalized rules and fixed way of thinking which tend to deaden the creative side of human mind. I love to read and learn. I went to lectures on theology and philosophy, learned french, music, etc. I also write poems, essays, and I also like to watch movies.

What I dislike most is narrow mindedness, fixed way of thinking, any kind of fundamentalism, fanatism, or fatalism. I like to see the world as a universe of unlimited possibilities. I like to enjoy life, good food, good music, good humor, and good sleeping. I read any kind of book, such as heavy, hardcore-science, novels, science fiction, comics, spiritual, philosophy, etc.

Sometimes I get so lazy, loosing motivation to do anything. Sometimes I just don't care anymore, depressed, feeling blue, and blame everybody but myself. Fortunately I can just sleep on it, and get up the next morning feeling ok again. Sometimes I just couldn't make a firm decision, afraid of making commitment. But then, only narrow minded, fanatic, person can make firm decisions easily. Difficulty in making a decision is a characteristic of an open mind.

Indonesia, my homeland, is a country in crisis. I believe that the crisis is the result of the inability to change, and the inability to depart from traditional and fixed way of thinking. There are so many narrow minded, fanatic, fatalistic, persons in Indonesia. If only we can get them to be open minded, may be our problem will be over soon!

Kebijaksanaan

Kebijaksanaan tidak bisa dipelajari dari orang lain,
melainkan harus ditemukan sendiri.

Tugas pertama seorang guru adalah membebaskan sang "murid" dari belenggu
pikirannya sendiri. Sebab yang menghalangi kita mencapai pengetahuan
sejati justru adalah pikiran kita sendiri!

Jadi hubungan guru-murid bukanlah yang satu memberi pengetahuan
sementara yang lain menerima pengetahuan.

Tugas sang guru hanyalah menggebuk murid dengan tongkat kayu, sehingga
sang murid terbangun dari tidurnya.

Mengapa Goblog dan Mencla-mencle?

Ada 4 alasan.

1. Alasan normal.
Memang saya goblog dan mencla-mencle secara obyektif. Ndak perlu uraian panjang lebar. Ha ha ha ... Tapi kalau kurang kerjaan, dan ingin membaca uraian panjang lebar silahkan klik tentang saya.

2. Alasan paranormal.
Saya punya firasat bahwasanya 99% umat manusia sak-benarnya adalah goblog dan mencla-mencle! Lha, berhubung saya termasuk 99% umat manusia, makanya ...

3. Alasan subnormal
Kalau ngaku goblog dan mencla-mencle kan lebih bebas? Ndak usah dibebani kewajiban nulis atawa ngomong yang cerdas-cerdas, boleh ngawur, boleh salah, ndak harus perfect, dan yang penting nggak kuwatir dibilang "goblog dan mencla-mencle ...."

4. Alasan supranormal
Kalau anda goblog dan mencla-mencle, hidup ini akan menjadi sangat menarik, lho!
Segala hal menjadi baru, mengundang untuk dimengerti oleh otak anda yang goblog itu.
Semuanya selalu berubah, tidak ada yang konsisten. Bukankah ini sangat menarik?

Tahu dan Tidak Tahu

Ada pepatah dari cina:
Ada orang yang tidak tahu dan tidak tahu bahwa ia tidak tahu, hindarilah dia!
Ada orang yang tidak tahu dan tahu bahwa dia tidak tahu, ajarilah dia!
Ada orang yang tahu tetapi tidak tahu bahwa dia tahu, bangunkanlah dia!
Ada orang yang tahu dan tahu bahwa dia tahu, jadikanlah dia gurumu!

Sebenarnya kita semua dalam keadaan "tertidur", kita nggak tahu bahwa kita tahu atau nggak tahu! Semua orang mengandung "kegilaan", hanya kadarnya berbeda-beda, ada yang 90%, ada yang cuma 1% .....

Tapi kegilaan tidak selamanya jelek.Banyak inspirasi yang hanya bisa diperoleh jika kita masuk ke dunia orang gila. Orang gila melihat dunia dari kacamata yang berbeda denganorang waras. Dari kaca mata itu, kita bisa menggali inspirasi ....

Ada orang bilang, anda mesti menjadi orang gila sampai batas tertentu, jika anda ingin menjadi seorang seniman.

"There is a thin line between genius and madness .."

Jazz (2)

Hidup ini memang membutuhkan struktur dasar. Tetapi jika hanya struktur itu saja yang dimainkan, maka hidup menjadi buruk rupa. Fundamentalisme, fanatisme sempit, serang menyerang, merasa benar sendiri, itu lahir dari keterikatan kaku pada struktur dasar. Tujuan kita adalah memainkan sebuah lagu kehidupan yang indah. Bukan membela mati-matian sebuah struktur dasar. Itu konyol! Lagu yang indah tercipta oleh keluwesan improvisasi yang berdialog terus menerus dengan struktur dasarnya. Dan lagu yang indah tercipta pula karena struktur dasar yang terus menerus terbuka kepada perubahan. Hanya sebuah struktur dasar yang terbuka pada perubahan yang bisa menjadi rahmat bagi semua manusia.

Jazz (1)

Keindahan Jazz itu pada improvisasi. Tetapi improvisasi jazz biasanya dibangun di sekitar sebuah lagu, dan disuarakan di sekitar rangkaian chord-chord yang tersusun rapi. Jadi improvisasi menjadi kuat karena dilatar belakangi sebuah struktur, dan struktur itu menjadi kaya karena improvisasi yang manis. Lebih jauh lagi, improvisasi ternyata bisa juga mengubah struktur! Selalu ada interaksi, dialog, antara struktur dasar dan improvisasi. Kerja sama keduanya menghasilkan sebuah permainan Jazz yang indah.

The Way

The WayThe Way that can be experienced is not true;
The world that can be constructed is not true.
The Way manifests all that happens and may happen;
The world represents all that exists and may exist.
To experience without intention is to sense the world;
To experience with intention is to anticipate the world.
These two experiences are indistinguishable;
Their construction differs but their effect is the same.
Beyond the gate of experience flows the Way,Which is ever greater and more subtle than the world.

From: Tao Teh Ching